How Childhood Trauma leads to Depression, Anxiety and Alcoholism in Adults

Childhood trauma and emotional loss is the universal template for many of the ills experienced in adulthood, such as addiction, depression, and even a shorted lifespan.  This correlation has been overwhelmingly proven through The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study, which has been one of the largest investigations ever conducted to assess the association between childhood maltreatment and later-life health and well-being. It reveals staggering proof of the health, social, and economic risks that result from childhood trauma. Those studied (1,700 participants) took the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Inventory to determine their level of traumatic exposure.

What Is Your ACE Inventory Score?

There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the ACE Study. Five are related to the child — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect. Five are related to other family members: an alcoholic parent, a mother who is the victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and parents who have gone through divorce or separation.

Up to your 18th birthday:

  1.  Did a parent or other adult in the household often: swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Or …Act in a way that made you afraid that you might be physically hurt? Yes  
No  If  Yes, enter 1 __
  2. Did a parent or other adult in the household often push, grab, slap, or throw something at you?Or …Ever hit you so hard that you had marks or were injured? Yes
 No   If  Yes, enter 1 __
  3. Did a person at least 5 years older than you ever touch or fondle you or have you touch their body in a sexual way? or …Attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you? Yes 
 No   If  Yes, enter 1 __
  4. Did you often feel that no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? or …Did your family not look out for each other, feel close to each other, or support each other? Yes 
No  If  Yes, enter 1 __
  5. Did you often feel that you did not have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you?  or…Were your parents sometimes too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it? Yes 
No  If Yes, enter 1 __
  6. Were your parents ever divorced or separated? Yes  
No  If Yes, enter 1 __
  7. Was your mother or stepmother often pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at her? Was she very often kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? or…Ever repeatedly hit over at least a few minutes or threatened with a gun or knife? Yes  No  If Yes, enter 1 __
  8. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic, or who used street drugs? Yes 
No  If  Yes, enter 1 __
  9. Was a household member depressed or mentally ill, or did a  household member attempt suicide? Yes 
No  If Yes, enter 1 __
  10. Did a household member go to prison? Yes 
No If  Yes, enter 1 __

Now add up your “Yes” answers: ___ This is your ACE Score

As the ACE score increases, so does the individual’s risk of disease, cognitive, social and emotional problems in adult life. With an ACE score of 4 or more, the adverse affects become devastatingly serious.

With a score of 4 or higher, adults are likely to suffer:

  • Hepatitis, 240 percent increase
  • Depression, 460 percent increase
  • Suicide, 1,220 percent increase
  • To be a smoker, 3 times more likely
  • 5 times more likely to be involved in Domestic Violence
  • 8 times more likely to suffer from Alcoholism
  • 8 times more likely to be pregnant as a teenager
  •  390 percent increase in chronic pulmonary lung disease

Why Does Childhood Trauma Continue to Affect Adults so Adversely?

Breakthroughs in neurobiology demonstrate that fear-based childhoods disrupt neurodevelopment, and can actually alter normal brain structure and function.

When children are overloaded with stress hormones, they’re in flight, fright or freeze mode. They have difficulty learning in school. They often cannot trust adults or develop healthy relationships with peers. To relieve their anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, and/or inability to focus, traumatized adults anesthetize themselves with short-term biochemical solutions, such as nicotine, alcohol, and marijuana.  They also engage in risky activities to temporarily flee their anguish — high-risk sports, proliferation of sex partners, and work/over-achievement.

Using drugs, overeating or engaging in risky behavior leads to consequences as a direct result of this behavior. For example, smoking can lead to COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) or lung cancer. Overeating can lead to obesity and diabetes.

An elevated ACE score is so insidious because it is not just trauma defined as bad things happening to a person, such as witnessing domestic violence or the suffering of physical abuse that creates problems.  It is the emotional loss combined with traumatic acts that is so devastating. Children are equally hurt by things that should happen but do not as they are by things that should not happen but do. If the parents are not emotionally available, many will not define that as trauma, but it will be for the child. If a mother has postpartum depression, for example, that’s not defined as trauma but it can lead to emotional neglect and that interferes with child brain development.

The affects of childhood trauma are not easy to overcome, but they can be worked through.  Such individuals can have corrective experiences through the therapeutic process that help mitigate the negative effects of childhood abuse, learning to work through guilt, anger, shame, and self-destructive behaviors.

If you are suffering from depression or childhood trauma in Irvine, Newport Beach, or Orange County, please call me, Jennifer De Francisco, LCSW at (949) 251-8797.

 

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Understanding the Fear of Success and Self-Sabotage

The fear of failure is an almost universal human anxiety in the modern world. We all, at one point or another, have worried that our actions will disappoint others or ourselves. But the fear of success? Why would someone intentionally (although unconsciously) sabotage what is best for them? Unfortunately, many of us suffer from engaging in self-defeating and self-sabotaging behaviors, patterns that are highly correlated with anxiety, depression, marital problems and social isolation.

defeated

On the surface, self-sabotage is counter intuitive and does not make any sense; you desperately want to succeed in your profession, find a loving mate, and become involved in those things that you fulfilling and exciting, right? Unfortunately, at an unconscious level, many of us have conflicting internal desires that lead to self-sabotage.

What is Self-Sabotage?

What is self-sabotage? Self-sabotaging behaviors can range from not returning an important phone call, turning in work assignments late, or continuing to become romantically involved with those that are emotionally unavailable. At its essence, it is engaging in behaviors that are against one’s self-interest, while at the same time not being able to practice self-care and promote one’s well being. What is so troublesome about most self-defeating behavior is that it primarily operates on an unconscious level, making it often very difficult to address.

Punitive Parenting, Rebellion, and the Internal Tyrant

According to psychodynamic theory, some behaviors of self-sabotage are rooted in early childhood experiences. The toddler must learn to control his or her impulses, such as learning “no” and to be potty trained. In the normal developmental stage of the “terrible twos”, the child experiences anger and rage over being controlled. The toddler, if the parenting methods are too punitive and correcting, turns the aggression toward him or herself. In fact, this can create a harsh inner conscience, or superego, that can become a self-punishing personal tyrant. In other words, this is aggression turned inward, leading to self-punishment, depression, and masochist behaviors. In fact, masochism can be viewed as a way to control negative feelings: “Whatever I am feeling, even if it doesn’t feel good, is what I want and seek.”

In the same vein, self-sabotage and a fear of success can also be a form of rebellion against harsh parental expectations. If the parental expectations are too high and exacting, then the child feels angry and controlled. If this is a consistent dynamic between child and parent, the adult child may unconsciously feel that success is submitting to someone else’s wants and requirements. Self-sabotage is a way of punishing the overcritical parent.

Feelings of Low Self-Worth

Regardless of the origin of the behavior, for almost all individuals with self-sabotaging impulses, they overwhelmingly experience feelings of being inadequate, undeserving, and worthless. Unfortunately, any masochistic pleasure experienced unconsciously from self-sabotaging acting out is paid for many, many times over in guilt, envy, anger anxiety, depression and fear.

This undercurrent of worthlessness is apparent in almost everything that they do to better themselves; for example, they do not attempt creative or emotionally risky projects because they are sure their efforts are not going to be good enough, no matter how hard they try. Hence, they are defeated before they have even begun. In a clever way, self-sabotaging saves them psychologically from failure; they did not actually fail since they did not even try and perhaps could, someday, succeed if they actually made an effort-leaving success for their fantasy life and saving some sense of self-worth on a conscious level.

Success Triggers Anxiety

Self-sabotaging behaviors can also be triggered by actually achieving some success, especially professionally. For the self-defeating person, success only leads to anxiety, as others might have start having increased expectations of them, and they are sure that they will ultimately fail and disappoint others. No “success” of theirs is real; they have somehow falsely duped others into thinking that they are performing well—a sort of “smoke and mirrors” trick, and only they know that they cannot really do what is expected of them.

Since fear of success primarily operates on an unconscious level, it is difficult to address without some therapeutic intervention. If you are interested in counseling for self-sabotage, depression, anxiety or couples counseling in the Irvine, Orange County, or the Newport Beach area, please contact me at (949) 251-8797.

 

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Why Do Some Happy Newlyweds Divorce While Other Couples Stay Happily Married?

Unfortunately, evidence shows that a percentage of couples who are happily married as newlyweds are still getting divorced after several years of marriage. Why are some couples able to create a long-lasting, meaningful marriage while others seem to lose satisfaction and contentment over time?

In a longitudinal study between happy newlyweds that eventually divorced after 5 to 10 years of marriage and happy couples that stayed married, the researchers looked for as many possible differences between the two groups to possibly account for why some couples become less satisfied with their marriages over time. In many respects, the two groups were strikingly similar; both groups appeared committed to their marriages and the ideals of marriage, and there were no differences in whether they had cohabitated before marriage or whether they had children. The divorced group was younger, which might indicate less emotional maturity in handling the needs and wants of a spouse.

What appeared to be crucial above all were the deleterious effects of negative marital communication patterns on the couple. Although there appeared to be very little difference in the positive communication styles of all the couples, those that divorced years later had notable differences in their negative communication patterns. Couples who eventually divorced exhibited more anger and contempt for their spouse, and were more likely to blame and invalidate the feelings of their partner. Those that divorced spoke excessively of what they would like to change about their partner, discouraged the expression of feelings, and insisted that their spouse resolve the difficult situation on their own.

It appears that the difference between satisfied couples and young couples that end up divorcing is most related to a lack of support for each other and contemptuous negativity that eventually poisons a meaningful relationship.

Jennifer De Francisco, MPA, MSW, LCSW is a psychotherapist in the Irvine, Newport Beach, and Orange County area. She specializes in relationships, depression, and grief.

Please call her at (949) 251-8797 to schedule an appointment for marriage counseling.

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For You Men Out There: Marriage Improves Your Health

The research is in: marriage improves the health of both sexes, but especially for men. Married men have greater longevity, overall physical health, and general happiness levels than their single counterparts. Oh yeah- they have more sex, too.

1. Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men

Getting married can add several years to your life, especially for men. According to The American Journal of Epidemiology, almost 100 research studies have indicated that married men have an average of 8 to 17 years of more lifespan than their single counterparts.  In addition, other data indicates that married women have greater longevity than their single, divorced, or widowed cohorts.

Not only is the longevity of married men better, but their quality of life seems to be significant better than that of single men as well. According to a European study across several countries, married men smoke less, exercise more frequently, and consumer significantly less beer, wine and liquor than their single counterparts.

2. Marriage Improves your Physical and Mental Health

Married men are much more likely to be in good health and survive a difficult medical diagnosis, ranging from whether they survive a heart attack to their chances of beating cancer. If a man is happily married, he is 3 times more likely to still be alive after undergoing a coronary artery bypass 15 years after the surgery than a single man. Reviewing the 13 most common cancers, including lung, skin, prostate, and colon, married men were less likely to die of their disease that any other grouping, even married women.

On the other hand, single men fared by far the worst; they are 35% more likely to die of cancer than a married person- male or female. Married men are also the healthiest psychologically; they are the least likely population grouping to suffer from anxiety, depression, or PTSD.

3. Married Men Have More Sex

Despite popular belief about the subject, bachelors do not have better sex lives than their married cohorts; in fact, the opposite is true. In a comprehensive study of sexual behaviors across the globe, researchers found that married individuals have more sex than any other group. In fact, the evidence suggests that those that are happily married also have the best sexual encounters out of any other grouping.

4. Married Men Are More Responsible

A recent study of 300 pairs of male twins at Michigan State University found that among those in which one brother married and the other remained single, the married twin engaged is less antisocial behavior than the single sibling. These scientists believe that marriage reduces aggression and other criminal activity by as much as 30 percent.

For many, many reasons, marriages are worth saving.  Jennifer De Francisco, MPA MSW, LCSW is an expert at maintaining marriages and relationships in the Newport Beach and Orange County areas.

Please call (949) 251-8797 for an appointment.

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How Grief Can Kill You

The intense emotional pain of losing a spouse can take a terrible toll psychologically, especially in the case of couples that have been in long-term marriages. But can grief actually trigger a heart attack?

Science has recently confirmed what our intuition has long suspected: broken-heart syndrome is real. According to the Journal of the American Heart Association, a grieving person’s risk for a heart attack is 21 times higher than normal the day after a loved one dies. The risk of an attack declines over time but remains elevated within the first month. For this reason, if a married person loses a spouse it is critical that they pay attention to their health, especially the symptom of chest pain.

In addition, older studies indicate that in the weeks and months after the loss of a spouse, grief can lead to greater heart and mortality risks. The researchers interviewed nearly 2,000 people hospitalized for heart attacks over a five-year period and controlled for variables such as a history of disease. Counter-intuitively, individuals with no history of coronary history were most vulnerable to broken-heart syndrome. This longitudinal study also pointed out the obvious: bereavement often leads to anxiety and depression, which are known elevate heart rate, increase blood pressure, and increase blood clotting.

Jennifer De Francisco, MPA, MSW, LCSW is a psychotherapist offering grief counseling in Newport Beach, Irvine and Orange County. She specializes in treating grief, relationships and depression.

Please call her at (949) 251-8797 to schedule an appointment.

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